The Truth About Kids and Chores

I love chores. 

If you come to my home mid-afternoon {when and if} there is nothing to do... I'll have created something to do. I will be cleaning baseboards, closets, raking leaves, mowing the grass, or maybe even starting a new paining project. It is something I have to surrender every day, 

being busy.

My kids? Hmmm, for some reason, they can find other things to do; sometimes that gets on my nerves. I mean come on, they make most of the mess, don't they care? 

I remember one day this past winter when we were doing chores around the house before school. I had just configured a new chore chart and it was going to be a history maker. This was going to solve all our chore problems. My kids were going to love doing simple chores and they were going to do them really well. I mean come on, we always have the music turned up loud during chores, we're all happy here, right? 

Well, this momma walked into the bathroom after my little Jordi was suppose to clean it and it was not done well. Immediately, frustration took over me.

Look at this, she doesn't care.

Look how lazy.

Uh, she didn't even look behind the door.

Now, before you start feeling all sad for her-- honestly, she has swept the floor enough times to know you remove the trash can and sweep behind it and you get the yuckies from behind the door. BUT, on this day, the lesson wasn't for her, it was for me. 

The truth spoken to my heart that day was simply this,

Chores are not given to replace mommas job, but rather build character.

Oh man, I had to re-sweep the floor. 

Now, there are days when my kiddos halfheartedly do their work and I have to kindly remind them to give their best, encouraging them they can do better. But for the most part, I usually need to manage my expectations. My goodness, the war of expectations. 

Here is the way it works in our home. You probably have a better way, I am sure. I bet your children's sames are America, Liberty, and Justice and they all say Yes, Ma'am every time you ask them to do something. In fact, they are probably only eight and ten and make dinner for your whole family while quoting whole books of the Bible. Actually, if that is you, could you please email me some advise?

For the other one percent of you who are like me and need a bit of encouragement from time to time on the matter,  here are my countless two cents =)

In the morning after breakfast, we do check lists. I have gone back and forth over the years with this method, trying to move past it. However, the truth is-- it just works and it works well, for us.

Now, when my children were all young, the reward for finishing your list was just a kiss from mom. However, as they get older, I have added incentive in the form of a quarter. This works good for them because they all put their quarters into the family fun jar which helps us go on fun trips. We don't have allowance in our home, if our kiddos need money, they ask for jobs but as far as a weekly payment for contributing to the family? We don't go that route. 

little hands checklist

bigger hands checklist

You will notice it says, today's daily chore. This is based on the child's individual abilities. I usually try to have these on the board in the morning. Otherwise the children are coming to me asking me what their daily chore is and I have to think of one real quick.

Some days, the chores are a bit harder and I have to get smart = ) For instance, the other day Jordan's chore was to scrub some spots out of the carpet. For my oldest daughter, this wouldn't be an issue. She is so type A, she wouldn't have just cleaned that area, she would have continued throughout the whole house. (not a good thing, mind you--being type A like me =( poor girl) As for Jordan, she just likes to get the job done. So, with a job like this, we make it a game. 

I say, "Go outside and knock at the door; we will pretend you are a carpet cleaner"

Anything imagination gets Jordan.

"Ok, Mom, my name is Mrs. Courtney."

So she comes in the house and explains to me what she is going to do. She then asks, "Are these your children? Meaning Judah and and Emmyn. To which I reply, "Yes" She then tells me, "Well, they are welcome to help me if they would like."

Of course they wanted to play the game.

Jordan getting Judah's carpet cleaning belt all ready =)

I know what some of you are thinking, you want your children to enjoy doing chores without a game. You are worried if you make it a game they are not going to have a good worth ethic when they grow up, you fear they won't ever take initiative. Well, here are our choices right now mommas:

Joy or Hatefulness

One choice is happy, makes it fun. The other yells and makes them work hard. 

One child is more likely to love chores when they are older. The other hates them and does everything for their kids because their mom was always so mean. 

Think of it this way, it's a Mary Poppins approach.

"In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and snap!  The job's a game." -Mary Poppins

Right now, little Judah gets a chocolate chip for each check on his list to keep him focused. The big girls have to write their beginning and end time on their list. Tomorrow, it will be something totally different to keep them going. But for the most part? We're happily working together to get the job done. 


Joyfully managing expectations right there beside you,



Chore Love:

Remember, when laundry becomes a bore, just put little clean panties on your head and dance around.

When all else fails, it's time for  Laundry and Ice Cream.

She Loved Us Back.

  We made our mail lady a little bit of love in a box...

Then, the next day you will never guess what! 

She loved us back ; )

 

We think she liked it. 

What's your mailman or lady's name? Click here to find out how you can get to know him or her better!

Having Fun,

 


{Yes, yes, thank you! the email feed is fixed! To all those of you who have missed having it tip toe into your inbox, it is fixed! However, you have to re-subscribe... stink those technical difficulties! Enter your email address above to re-subscribe.} 

Yeah, You've Heard It All Before... that proverbs 31 promise.

I like it most when I'm up before the pitter patter of little feet. I like to sit and prepare before they come bounding, excited and ready to start a new day.

They usually start by telling me all about their dreams or informing me they're hungry.

While the house is quiet, I like to set the mood. My mood.

It's a peaceful thing, a quiet house. Before I begin the daily battle that wages deep within me, the battle of self and selflessness, it is best if I start in the quiet.


"She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls." but no servants found here. that's our days work we're planning--  and we begin in the quiet, begging God to help us get it all done.

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker." because the Lord is her strength. He alone is [her] rock and her salvation. [Her] fortress where [She] will never be shaken.


"She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy." because she knows it's the only way her children will see, those people matter.

And my very favorite part...

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." because she realizes she cannot parent out of fear of their future, or of her past.

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness." only because she pauses. Breathing quietly and deeply before she responds. (oh, how I needed to read that)

"She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness." because she runs one more time at the cry of help, bends down one more time to pick the little one up, and sits to read... just a little bit longer.

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  because he knows, this job of being a mother---will keep her close to the heart of God.


So, they tip toe out, into the darkness of early morn one.by.one.

And then your sweeties little baby joins the two of you...

and the list goes on,
and on,
and on.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.

Loves today and always,

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 
She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.
Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.
She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.

 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:
 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised."

Proverbs 31:10-30 NLT

My Missouri Ladies, HELP!

 

Fall is in the air and we are dying to pick apples! Oh how I miss the good ol days of driving to Seymour for wheat and fruit = (

Here in Oklahoma, most are saying apples are no good this year due to the drought. A day trip to Missouri is in my future if someone can tell me where I can find lots of fresh apples for baking and canning. ; )

A sweet day at the park with families would be a nice addition to this trip.

Email me = )

In The Garden

Well, it's that time of the year when blogging comes to a screeching halt and we head outside. I can only hope you are so busy with life's treasures that you don't have time to read our silly little blog. ; )

We've been in the garden.

 

Meanwhile, my house seems to always look like this...

 

at least it's quiet and still. 

(well, sometimes ; )


Loves,



Related Posts:
During Spring Break, We
Sweet Learning
A Trip to the Garden

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During Spring Break, We...

...started working on our first Oklahoma garden;

and made a sandbox out of the wood scraps.

We delivered 16 meals to some super special people...  =)

and It just so happened to be St. Patrick's Day, so, we felt pretty "lucky."

We told "Gram Wilma" she's getting a new scale!

She felt so special knowing someone who doesn't even know her would help her.

We had ice cream and played UNO in our PJ's at the local ice cream shop.

Of course, that stinky Daddy won; he always wins! 

We finished our hard work in the front yard,

and planted seeds with a cute little baby and a curious little boy. 

Then we asked ourselves, where did the time go? So, we think we might do it all over again this week ; )


Loves,


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