When your life says slow down but your heart says go faster-- that is a hard day.

I drive over to her house to pick up my little Jordan, who has just finished reading to her, and smile real big, "Hello, Mrs. Wilma." 

Her eyes are even worse now and her housecleaning lady has quit yet again and she hasn't been given a bath in several says because the company who sends people to bathe her keep having people quit. We talk about the wonderful weather. 

She says Jordi read her a couple of her favorite books and they enjoyed chatting over the warm cookies. As Jordan packs up her things and gets ready to head out the door Mrs Wilma asks me to read the label. 

The label of her frozen t.v. dinner. 

It's all crusty with ice and as hard as a rock. I read the label-- scrambled eggs, diced potatoes, and fruit cocktail. You can freeze fruit cocktail? After reading the label, she asks me to place it in the microwave for four minutes because it's hard for her to see. The number four has a big magnifying sticker on it, making it bigger for her to see. She pushes number four a lot. She eats a lot of frozen food.

As I pull away from the microwave, she asks the question. 

"So, what are you planning to make for dinner?" 

and my heart sinks. 

"Well, we're having waffles tonight, Mrs. Wilma so it looks like we are both in the mood for breakfast." Of course my dinner is a bit more fresh and yummy-- bigger and filling. Big belgium waffles with a big side of chicken. Chicken and waffles. 

But I don't tell her that. 

I stand there for a bit and try to pull myself together because my eyes are filling up with tears and I
just want to save her. I want to dance around her house and make it all clean and tidy. I want her to have a bath, I want her to have a warm meal. Really, I just want to put that wheel chair of hers into high gear and load it into my mini van and take her for waffles and chicken. 

But I can't. 

I can't. The list of things I can't do are getting bigger. The hole in my heart is getting bigger and my smile gets harder and harder to put on when I leave my house. Because there is hurt everywhere. 

                                                             -----------------------------

What do you do when your life says slow down but your heart says go faster? What do you do when you notice the people closest to you-- the people in your own home are getting nothing because you are giving it all away? 

When that reality came to me-- I slept for two days.

I don't really remember anything that went on around me. I don't remember meals I cooked or if I even cooked any, really. I remember a quick visit to the ice cream shop with the kids for cards and ice cream cones-- trying to find a bit of normal-- but other than that, the world just seemed to stop. 

When the reality came to me that I am giving too much and I need to let go, I felt like I was going to die. I typed up a letter, I included it in my tasty meals and I delivered the warning to each and every sweetie pie old person. I gave the notice-- Soon, I won't be delivering meals every week. Out the door we went, delivering heart ache and lunch and that was a terrible day. 

And you know what, It's not about failing. I am fine with failure, I do it all the time. It's about not doing when there is so much to be done.

I'm fine now. We have a new little routine of seeing our people and it's better. I never knew it would be better-- but it is. We see them individually now, we get to chat longer because we're not in such a hurry to get to the next home before lunch gets cold. =) I'm not shopping all day Wednesday for  food, cooking all Wednesday evening and Thursday morning while my children's school just doesn't get done.

Now, instead of visiting 32 people in one day, we sit and chat with two or four. It's harder in some ways, because of course when you sit and chat a bit--it takes longer. We see some every week, some every other week. Some we take extra of our dinner, others we just bake cookies. Some, we clean a bit on their house, others might need a repair. We're here and they know it. Our kiddos paintings are still on their walls and they see our cutie pie pumpkins we dropped by with fall love, sitting on their tables-- so I think we're OK.

Not really,  I guess. But sort of. 

What do you do when you really just want to have nothing and give everyone all of you and you'd really be OK with that--when the reality is, you live in your warm house, wearing your fuzzy slippers and you drink warm coffee on cold nights, and you can pretty much do anything you want to do with your life BUT give it all away.

How do we fold laundry, wipe spit up, change diapers, teach math, run errands, keep food on the table-- three times a day, stop fights, teach character over, and over, and over again-- feeling like we are getting nowhere, and still go save the world?

Well, that's not our job, is it?

It's all about the one. And it starts with the one(s) in our home. I have to trust that God knew what he was doing when he called me to this roll of mom. I have to remember life is big and full and God uses time and I have a lot of time, it's all going to be OK. 

The truth is, I feel I would be better off alone, living on the streets with the poor and oppressed. And some days the enemy uses that against me. Don't get me wrong, I am madly in love with my children and that man of mine-- I love them so much, I'd gladly drag them through the streets with me loving on others-- it's that bad. 

God has me here. And here is hard. Here is good. Here is trusting. Trusting that God knew this day would come and he would know my wild heart, and this is what He has given me. He knows the true intentions of my heart and He knows the true depths of my intentions. He hasn't open any other doors so this is where I am and this is good--because it is still with God. 

So, I laugh with my kiddos and we love strangers. We do chores and go deliver pumpkins and pie. We play with friends and are there for them when they need a friend.  We say no and have little so others can have more. We look globally and try to keep our mind open to seeing things culturally -- not as an American christian but rather a follower of God, who is so much bigger than a white American ; ) We go to flag football games, and field trips.

And it is a daily choice. 

This choice of, I am going to be happy where God has me-- knowing he had placed me here. Not to stay here, but to grow here. Knowing the sheep hear the Shepherds voice and if he calls me to do something, I {hope I} will. All the while, praying like crazy that His voice is all I hear.

May you listen today, friends. Listen to the Shepherds voice. Rather it be go or stay, come or leave. Laundry or serving, or both. To say yes or say no. To sit or get up. To walk or run, to give away or buy more. To love one today, or love many. May you trust in where God has you, knowing he knew-- all along, you'd be there. And He has saved them and it's not our job.

Our job is simply to live fully and love fully.

Loves,

Update on Adopt a Gram

Our cutie pie little Grams have filled out their questionnaires and I collected them all yesterday! We are busy little bees getting them into "Gram Packs" so all you fantastic people can select a Gram.

Would you believe... we have ALL OF OUR GRAMS are accounted for?! That means each Gram has a family-- makes my little heart go pitter pat. {don't get scared, if i have talked with you about having a gram in any way-- you are included in that count} We'll have the packs ready soon!

Thank you! 

On a totally side note-- Our Ting (Angus) Skyped with us last night. His night is our morning, which we hate so much. When we rise, he is going to bed. When his day begins, we are tired. However, with that aside-- He shared breakfast and Gods Word with us yesterday before he left for school.

Really? Has he really caught it? That crazy love for that great big God? The only God? The creator of Heaven and Earth? That God?

I think so.

Praise, Glory, and Honor.

That God... he is so big.

Hey Ting, 


When we delivered lunch to Mrs. Nancy yesterday, she wanted us to tell you, "Hello" she'd also like you to mail her a letter. Remember her? I snapped a picture of her steps for you. The steps you stood on to deliver food and sing Christmas carols.  Ting, pray for her. 


We love you.

Thanks everyone,



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Adopt A Gram Is Finally HERE!

Do you have a Gram? Well, we do! We have a lot of them! We have a lot of Grams looking for you!

What is Adopt a Gram, you ask? Well, it is a new program designed by our little family for the local Senior Citizens in the town of Chelsea. We are asking you and or your family to Adopt a Grandma or Grandpa! 



Many of our local Seniors do not have anyone to talk with, some of them don’t even have family. With the new Adopt a Gram program you and your family have an opportunity to Adopt them!



Here is how the program works: We have a select group of Gram’s that need some extra love. You choose your Gram and make them yours! When you have selected a Gram he or she become a member of your family! You send them letters, pictures, and maybe even gifts. If your Gram has a need come up, you are contacted first with the opportunity to help. You will be given fun info about them such as favorite animal, color, or hobby. 



To keep our Grams safe, all correspondence goes through Eleos. Any letters, gifts, or helps will be hand delivered by us but they will know who the gift is from. Likewise, any communication from your Gram will be done through us and we will make sure it is delivered to you! Your Gram will also be writing you! 



So, if you are looking for a way to love on people but don’t know how to help, here is a way! Especially families with little children, this is a fantastic opportunity for your kiddos to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Just think of all the wonderful things they can experience when they have a Gram as a pen pal. If you are a school teacher or Sunday school teacher-- consider Adopting a Gram for your classroom?

If you or someone you know would like to be one of the Grams on our list, please contact us at the number below. If you would like more information or are ready to  Adopt a Gram, please contact us today!  They’re waiting on you! 




Adopt a Gram  (eleos outreach) 918-789-3408 or email kathleangibson@gmail.com

Ready to adopt, friends? Today is the day.

 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Excited,

click on picture to enlarge

Getting In The Dirt

A few weeks back, the kids and I went on a little journey-- spending the afternoon at our friend, Mrs. Mildred's home {one of our sweet Eleos people} We spent the afternoon trying to help her "feel pretty to the town"

At least that's how she put it.

The weeds went deep. Like many of our own weeds, they had been there for a long time. 

So, we started off slow... 
 

 

...deciding what was good and what was bad.

We trimmed and pruned away years of mess...
 

 ...trying to find the hidden beauty.

Then, when we finally found it...

 ...it was as it always is.

 

We had found another piece of ourselves. 

Jesus said,  “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches.” Matthew 13: 31-32

So there we have it, yet again.

The truth of our sweet Jesus.

Something {some.one} as small as a mustard seed?

Becoming the largest of garden plants? 

Birds come and call it home?

So, He uses faith the size of a mustard seed, builds His Kingdom out of something small like a mustard seed--

"Perhaps He uses some.one small like little 'ol you and little 'ol me to do little 'ol jobs that show His love in a big way?"

Oh, the wonders of His hands.

May your hands feel the dirt and grime of His love today, friends.


Getting dirty right along with you, 

Sharing is at the core of the God story

 

 She tip toes from her bedroom, sleepy eyed and messy hair; still half asleep from her nap.

Quietly, she asks me a question,

"Momma... are these for me?"

With a great big smile, I get to say, "Yes, they are."  =)

 

My two Big Girls and Ting ask, "Who are they from?"   

I reply, "A friend from high school." 

"Who?" They ask. 

"A lady named Andrea." I reply.

Ting asks me, "She just gave them to you?" 

"Well, yeah" I say.

"Why?" He asks. 

My response? "Well, it's a blessing. God knew our little Emmyn needed some clothes."

"...always God," he says. ; )

 

There are so many clothes, we put a whole bag away for next years size.

Meanwhile, my little Emmyn changes clothes all night long saying, "Look mommy, look how pretty."

She felt special and pretty all because someone shared. 

As I folded all her old clothes, most of them too little, I couldn't help but smile real big. My mind flooding with memories. Memories of fancy dresses, boys, nail salons, tanning beds, and getting our drivers license.

Now, she thinks to give me clothes.
 

It's a total God thing. ... "always God."

=)

We've been blessed by many, many, many people over the past eleven years of parenting with great hand me downs and are so very thankful. However, there is just something so special and surreal to see how this web of life continues to spin me in crazy directions of "I cannot beleive this." 

"A friend from high school named, Andrea. "

Sharing is at the core of the God Story. 

Last year, after the Community Share was all over and done, someone approached me asking how it went. After telling them all the great things about it, they had just one question. 

"How do you know they aren't taking advantage of you?"

I replied, "Well, I don't. But it's not my job to make sure they use it correctly, it's my job to give in love and let God do the rest."

"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”  -Luke, in Acts 20:35 NIV

 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.  James 1:17 NIV

Here is the great thing about giving, it's all about grace. 

Someone can take your free stuff, your story of the cross, your kindness, your mercy, your compassion and not use it to it's fullness. It's true, they can. Makes me sit and think,

I sure am glad God didn't withhold grace from me, contingent on what I would do with it.

 John reminds us, 

"If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." 

Ah, how simple. We see. We help. Then, Jesus takes control and the Holy Spirit does the work.

Besides, isn't that what we want? I know I sure make a lousy Holy Spirit ; )

Loves,




{Yes, yes, thank you! the email feed is fixed! To all those of you who have missed having it tip toe into your inbox, it is fixed! However, you have to re-subscribe... stink those technical difficulties! Enter your email address above to re-subscribe.}

Noodles, Boxes, and Little Chickens-- it's all in a days work.

I pour the noodles into the gravy and load up the boxes to go.

Along with boxes, I load little children. 

Poems and hot lunch to share, the making of a great rainy afternoon.

From time to time, the big girls like to go up to a house all by themselves. In fact, as of about a month ago, Alli, my oldest, makes the calls on Thursday mornings to remind people we are coming. 

This is the bridge, you might remember my mention of it in a prior post. It's the bridge that brings us home.

Returning home, we clean up the memories made that morning in our kitchen.

Then the kids gather with their chicks and read books to them.

Life if so crazy, isn't it?

Loves,

It Looks a Little Like This... just a little video from our home

So many of you have asked what Eleos looks like so i thought I'd take my phone around my dim lit home, moving too quickly for you to see what it "looks like" hmmmm, maybe we'll take some more video on our route today ; ) 

It starts with green beans and ends with muddy feet. it's just a normal day at the Gibson home, except we're cooking a little extra.




It's no big deal =)


Loves,

I Would Have Said You're Crazy-- it's all about the story.

 If someone would have told me this time February of last year that we would have celebrated 42 birthdays, delivered over 1,000 meals, mowed lawns, cleaned gutters, colored countless pictures, helped when sick and just been a friend to people who were total strangers this time last year, I would have told them they were crazy. And if they would have told me, all it took was giving out our phone number, perhaps I would have thought they had lost their minds. 

But now, I can't imagine it any other way and it's better than I could have ever imagined.

Perhaps it’s because when I walk away from each door, I learn a little bit more about myself, my heart swells and I breath deep.

I walk away and they sit and watch me go. They sit.

I imagine my life, now. Busy running, driving, preparing school work, worried if I’m doing anything right in life. I sit and read books with my children each day, discovering new wonders. I sit while my husband and I talk with the children about the joys and failures of our days over a warm meal, lit by candlelight at our table each night. We have people in our home often and love to gather with friends. But it’s Thursday that changes me most.

I see now, why faith without deeds is dead. We can read about love and grace all day long in Gods word, we can be taught by Him, our spirit can be refueled by stillness with Him; but being Jesus to people not only shows them His love in a real way but teaches us as well.

Oh, we can never show them the fullness of Christ, we are so broken. But perhaps that is what draws people to Him, our brokenness? Knowing even though we read every day and discover, we struggle through math problems and attitude issues; both the kids and I. The children tattle and I get upset, I’m broken. Even though husband and wife gather at the dinner table to talk about our day and enjoy our meal by candlelight, someone always spills something and things get a little crazy at this table of seven. Even though we deliver meals, take care of them when they have nobody to call, sit and chat a bit each week on the phone, there are still long trips to the store to get all the supplies, and lots of prayers for the financial ability to take care of them all the while taking care of ourselves.

But here is where it matters most, here is where I learn.

They sit.

They watch me walk away.

All you have to do is ask about a picture and a million memories flood into their mind and they love to tell you all about it.

“Married at 14 I was,” Mrs. Libby says, “Mom and Dad didn’t like that!” she laughs a silly laugh, and continues, “But, I suppose I picked right, we were married for 70 years." she smiles big and then sadness fills her eyes,  "I miss him so much, there’s nothing worse than loosing the love of your life.”

The grocery lists, the trips to the store, the bills, the spilled milk, the wall that didn’t get painted in time, the dog that tracked mud into the house, the stuffy nose that wouldn’t leave, the toddler that wouldn’t potty train as fast as the other, the financial hardship that came their way, the Christmas presents they couldn’t buy, the car they couldn’t buy or the house they couldn’t afford… none of that fills their memories. Its the people who fill their memories. Oh, they may have stories about those things, I’m sure they do, but that’s not what they sit and wait to share with someone. They sit and wait to talk about the people that changed their lives.

Oh friends, it makes me think. It makes me think long and hard. It makes me think about all the wasted time. The reality show we don’t want to miss while someone next door is lonely and can’t even see the TV. Or the trip to the store you’re making for the fifth time this week but the friend you have who can’t afford even one trip. What are we doing? What.are.we.really.doing? What does it all matter?

It makes me wonder this:

What one thing could someone tell you and I today about our lives that would be different this time next year? What one thing would make you think they’re crazy?

Don’t underestimate the abilities and strengths God has given you. Don't wait until you have it all together, don't wait until you have it all planned, don't wait until you have all the money, until your children are grown. You could be a story in someone's life, today.

You. You will be someone they can tell others about when they’re sitting alone sixty years from now all alone thinking of that one person who cared. Not your pastor, not your wife, not your missionary friend, YOU. You can be the one person who helped with that addiction, who talked about Jesus, who bought the sack of groceries, who cared enough to see a need and love enough to take care of it. They might have waited all this time for someone and nobody ever came until you.

You could change their story.

Isn't it amazing? We get to stumble along the footsteps of the One who did it best.

What an honor my friends.

Always stumbling along side you,